happy baseball season!!

and, to celebrate, this commentary from the always-hilar guest blogger bets.

Bronson Arroyo is a big question mark - he's pitching Thursday with a cortisone shot in his hand to help his carpal tunnel syndrome. (Note to Bronson: You are not a famous rock star. Stop pursuing your nonexistent music career, as it is causing all of us a great deal of stress. Sincerely, Cincinnati. P.S. We are also uncomfortable with your chosen hairstyle.)

and, furthermore.

I love how everyone is like "It's from playing the guitar!" and he's like "What! It is not!" And then he produces ZERO EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY and continues to play his guitar. Seriously, one article was like "There has been speculation that this was linked to his guitar playing, but Arroyo has stated that this is not the case."

oh, bronson. are you the new ken griffey? ARE YOU? hold on to your forks, is all i have to say.

but, seriously. you are a PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER. remember in high school, when our coaches used to tell us to be careful not to lift heavy things in case we got injured? and when i played the clarinet and there was a tiny, tiny indicator that i might someday have tendonitis and my teacher was like STOP EVERYTHING! i can only imagine that it's more serious in the pros [says FRB sarcastically]. i mean, carpal tunnel is serious, and you should stop brushing your teeth and cutting up your own food if it's going to help it get better. honestly, bronson.