Saturday, September 27, 2008

all that you can't leave behind.

some things you shouldn't live without for much longer...

the new storypeople ebook! brian andreas makes me cry every time. i'm having a very "i don't know exactly what a prayer is" moment about it...

but it's free, so you should go ahead and download it. unless you're like me and you need to get an external hard drive asap and have no room for anything else.

and speaking of which, itunes genius. has everyone gotten the new itunes update? because, DO IT. it's like pandora, with music you already own. genius indeed, especially when you have many songs that are neglected most of the time because you're always listening to, you know, "world spins madly on" or something.


i'm back in the phase of my life where i have to ask everyone's advice about everything. remember that? [it IS much like 2003 over here lately, come to think of it.] but probably the best advice i got today was, "you all are thinking like GIRLS. maybe he just means what he says."

burned the crust of my cheesecake this morning. after all that work, it only takes a minute to ruin the whole thing. i really, really hope this isn't a metaphor for life.


Monday, September 22, 2008

appropriate behavior.

m: yeah, the cookie monster eats vegetables now. he tells you about your five a day... he's all, "cookies are a sometimes treat!"
j: ahhhh, they should bring back the cigarette monster.

and, in the category of "signs you gchat too much":

e: how are you?
b: i think i need to be productive, actually.
e: oh! alright.
e: are you... mad at me?

bah, grading.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

WWJD, plus many more letters.

in the faculty room, while laughing out loud at this craiglist posting [courtesy of hill]...

k: is that how you laugh?

b: they should really take away my grown-up card. i'm spilling coffee everywhere...
c: no way man, you totally just got your card stamped by asking if anyone has your tupperware.

i had a friend send me this awesome, awesome storypeople.
Loose guidelines for living: Part I
#3. Just think to yourself: "what would Jesus do?" & if you don't like the answer, try again with a slight variation: "what would Jesus do if he were in your shoes & had all those bills & he was used to all the perks of being an American, too? Would he do it any different?" & usually the answer is No.
i mean, theologically, WWJD doesn't really work as well as "what would jesus want us to do?" because jesus did some things that we're not allowed to do. like, judge people with his heart-reading ability. but that's something that's really nerdy and i don't usually bring that up.

Monday, September 15, 2008

playing normal.

so, this weekend, i was really glad that i own some great rain boots. i just wore them everywhere. with my coat, and my umbrella. and was still wet. i mean, i realize that this is not an actual problem... [apparently my parents' house got no rain and all of the wind. interesting?]

remember that time i saw the dog with boots?

[pause while i look for the time i blogged about this...]

GASP. apparently i haven't blogged this story. it was so, so awesome.

last winter, i was walking on the icy sidewalk when i came upon a guy my age walking a dog, and the dog was wearing, like, patagonia boots. they were parka material [you know?] and they had velcro around the ankles. it was a tiny dog, too. with skinny little legs. i thought it was ridiculous. and before i thought much more, i was like, "is your DOG wearing BOOTS?"

and he, obviously, was like, "yeah."

so i had to think REALLY FAST about what a normal, dog-accepting person would say. and i went, "that is sooooo cuuuute!" then i jumped into the car with my friends and was like, "GUYS. YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS."

anyway, apparently dogs need boots because the salt gets into their cute little paws, or something. i still scoff. i'm sure my friends at the dog vote will disagree, but there you have it.


spent all day sunday at the coffee shop. it was lovely. had some friends drop by, drank some excellent specialty coffee drinks. caribou likes to put, like, chocolate shavings and marshmallows and shit on top of your toasted marshmallow mocha. i mean, i'll take it. all in all, i felt very college about the whole thing. and i liked it.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

post-able conversation, in which a stranger thinks i'm funny.

b: [door closes on her while she's carrying plates] ahhh, disaster... [catching the door] wait, i'm okay.
w: you know, the best thing about that was the play-by-play.

"you're pretty fucking likeable."

see? now THAT'S the kind of thing that will get you into my blog.

hahaha, i kid. but i have been talking a lot lately about the pressures of blogging.

e: I notice that you have a new blog post
e: because it's the first thing i check every morning
e: and I notice
e: that it does not include me
b: i can't do it under pressure.
b: i mean, it just looks forced.
b: i can't compromise the blog like that.
e: hahahahahahahaha.
b: that might make it.
b: nice.

so there you have it. and for the rest of you who are never quoted on my blog, well - you may notice that i'm trying to be as impersonal as possible. i've been worried since the beginning about the fact that this stuff is all on the internet, and not everyone would like to be all over the internet as much as i do. or as much as i do now, because there's also the issue of how this blog will look to me in the future. that is, until the internet becomes obsolete and is replaced by, i don't know - telepathy?

so one of my co-workers told me to literally and figuratively check out a book that we have in the school library. way to rock the literal and figurative when i least expected it.

and still, from ani: "i'm wired this way, and you're wired to me..."

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

"karl rove appears bitterly divided..."

watch these guys lie it up. BOGUS.

i got this in an email from a co-worker addressed to "colleagues and fans of reason." i mean, yeah, it's all spin - but DANG. it's too easy for you, jon stewart. you are TOO GOOD.

Monday, September 08, 2008

mccain, words, etc.

all late about it, very brief convention report...

this is my favorite article [in my very, very limited reading] because it makes fun of the republican change-ish slogans. but no one wants to mention how mccain's speechwriters put "change" into the thesaurus, decided against "adjust" or "amend," and decided that mccain is going to "shake up" washington. like, what? what do you MEAN by that?

i'm super flattered that this reminded a friend of my blog. but HOW AWESOME is it to compare the words everyone is using in their speeches? well, it's SO awesome.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

shock me, shock me, shock me...

so, you know when someone's talking on the phone on the train and you listen in? yeah, today that was me. there was a cute guy, you know, and he was definitely looking at me. because he was listening to my phone conversation and probably judging me.

because, um, here are some things i said:
"so, what, you're going to tell me you're NOT gay?"
"well, okay, unless you want me to wear something sluttier..."
"hey, while i have you on the phone, can you think of some gospel passages about morality that i should use for a prayer service for my kids?"

i did not speak to said cute guy when we got off the train. but don't you think that, if he had liked me based on that conversation, we would have had a great future together?

and, i mean, this is why i don't usually talk on the phone on the train.

learned today: things that are interesting on the blog are not always interesting in real life. also, apparently teachers could use my blog to teach kids how NOT to write.


Tuesday, September 02, 2008

this IS grand.

courtesy of pip - the CTA voice is a real guy! [i won this particular argument.]

haven't i always said that i love him? i mean, i'm just sad that he's married.

Monday, September 01, 2008


so, stayed at the bellagio this weekend.

my life is very much like ocean's 11. [hahaha, remember in that one movie, where hugh grant lives in the hotel and says his life is very much like monopoly? what's that movie, where sandra bullock eats all the time and loves the environment and hugh grant's an ass?]

b [stepping into the elevator as the doors close]: oh, sorry! i think i left my phone down at the pool, and i'm running down to find it.
fellow bellagio guest: you know what, though? even if someone finds it, i bet they'll turn it in.
b: yeah?
fbg: yeah, my friend lost hers yesterday, and someone totally turned it in. i think it's because everyone here's like... rich? and they don't need a phone, you know?
b: yeah... [i was thinking, randomly, of the time my students told me that my phone was about to get "jacked" when it was sitting on the table next to me at the restaurant. i was like, by whom? the fourteen of you, in my homeroom?]

now. was she thinking that i was a rich person, and speaking to me about rich people things? or was she [correctly, judging by my exclusively old navy and target clothing] assuming that i was observing all the rich people from somewhere much more teacher-y?

she was a little bit fancy. so i think she was rich. and she probably thought i was rich, too, right? or else that would be kind of a rude thing to say. so maybe i'm rich-looking. yay? or not?

my filet at stack was the best thing ever. not just the best steak ever, but the best THING i have EVER EATEN. and the colorist from shear genius was there. after his day of hanging out with BRITNEY SPEARS. and also, someone saw leonardo dicaprio.

i mean, i'm basically famous.