Sunday, December 30, 2007

better late?

I know that I'm supposed to admire the structure of stacked-slightly-off-kilter boxes, but it didn't do anything for me. The interior irritated me, starting with the pretentious-because-it-declares-itself-to-be-unpretentious concrete floor (complete with cracks). Then there were the harsh, industrial-style lights; the gift shop behind a mesh curtain of the kind you find in pawn shops; the cattle-car elevator; and the tiny café, intended, it would seem, to be inadequate to any conceivable occasion. Everything was making a statement and issuing a challenge: Do you get it? (Obviously I didn't.)
that's stanley fish, on the new museum. i love stanley fish and his bitingness. and i love that i'm pretty sure he's talking about some of my friends. it's always awkward when you have to figure out if someone is being ironic or not, you know? how do you win that contest?

- he was quoting john mayer, i think.
- what? without irony?

i mean, it's the difference between being cool and uncool. clearly. [or, not at all clearly.]

also, this is my favorite thing ever. even though i'm super late posting it. i love it. i mean, i love obama and i think it's a good thing that he's wanted to be president for a long time. but i also love a good one-up.

“I have not been planning to run for president for however number of years some of the other candidates have been planning for,” said Obama in (where else?) Iowa.

“He says that day after day,” said Howard Wolfson, Clinton’s spokesman. This sounded to the Hillaryites like a diss, and, indeed, Obama did appear to be suggesting that she was the product of long-running crass ambition while he, reluctant soldier, was simply responding to his country’s call.

“So we put out a document, finally, that had all the instances of his saying he wanted to run for president,” Wolfson explained.

The evidence began with a magazine article that claimed that Obama started planning his campaign when he became a senator in 2005. This was followed by quotes from friends and relatives attesting that he had mentioned his aspirations in 1992, 1988 and the third grade. Finally came the coup de grâce: testimony from his kindergarten teacher that back when he was 5, little Barack had written an essay titled: “I Want to Become President.”

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

noteable quoteables.

maybe the best svu quote ever:
cop: we caught this one with his pants down, getting ready to do her!
perp: i was just trying to help her up!
olivia: [pause] with your penis?

also, after school today:
m: you know, sometimes i say to myself, "you shouldn't leave for christmas break with your desk looking like this."
b: and then you say to yourself...
m: "... at least it doesn't look like FRB's."

hey now. creative minds are seldom tidy.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

new year, old post.

ooh, look what i found. a draft of an old post.

first, this story. maybe you all already heard the story about the mom who made the fake myspace to screw over her daughter's former friend, but i really like judith warner's blog on it. [i know, i know, all i ever read is the new york times. i'm over it.] there's something interesting here about parents feeling unfulfilled, i think. do you think that's why everyone's being friends with their kids now? i hear a lot of talk about parents being easy on their kids because they want to be friends, but not a lot about why...

also, this might be useful for anyone who believes in, you know, the sacramental life. in a God-breathed universe, eh? i like it. and i like pop culture.

clear oscar contenders.

k: well, i'm not trying to be all doomsday...
m: what are you, the CTA?

i was falling on the ice this weekend [into the arms of gentlemen, of course, because i'm just that kind of girl] and totally compared it to while you were sleeping. what a great movie. i'd say it's the best movie i've ever seen... about the CTA...

i mean, i really do love it. no lie. sandra bullock is definitely playing me in the movie of my life. [next question: what's the movie of my life going to be called? especially since dangerous liaisons is already taken.]

"i have to go, i'm really late, because i have to, um, go... but it was nice meeting you... jack."

also, please enjoy chad vader - and john was right, it's definitely better if you're a star wars fan. or if you were in a star wars fan club in junior high. not that i was, or anything.

this is only episode 1...

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

high class

k: are you drinking some chillable red right now?
b: yeah!
m: what?
k: [sarcastically] what? you don't know about chillable red? come onnn... i mean, it's totally a kind of wine, like merlot, or... [awkward pause] i don't know any other kinds of wine.

and that, friends, is why we're drinking franz with dinner.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

oh, religion.

overheard in the church parking lot on the way home: "...the desire to have sex is one of life's unanswerable questions..."

i mean, what? i didn't think that question was unanswerable at all. this is biology. i mean, it's evolution. wait, no - it's in the BIBLE. it's the true meaning of life. [i had an english professor who said that. no lie.] i'm no expert, but i wouldn't call it unanswerable.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

itunes and i should get a room

so i just checked itunes, as i periodically do, for songs that were not on itunes the last time i checked. and i'm so, so excited for the songs i got.

on the new playlist:
mundy - to you i bestow [remember this one, from the romeo + juliet soundtrack? i really love it, even though it's just the live one]
jonathan edwards - no more sad songs [aww, my dad likes it and it's so, so sweet]
metamora - little potato [one of mike's favorites, and predictably weird]
craig armstrong featuring evan dando - wake up in new york [a song i heard one time when paul was watching brothers and sisters]

yeah, so my life's pretty awesome right now.

"i'd get a room with this cake. i think i could show this cake a good time." - monica

nooooooooo! yayyyyyyyyy!

hahaha, has everyone seen this commercial? hilarious.

- they were out of snickers.
- nooooooooo! [throws trash can]
- but i got these snickers dark instead?
- yayyyyyyyyy! [throws another trash can]

also, this is possibly the coolest thing i've ever seen - from better world books, where you should all shop.
Carbonfree™ Shipping

Until Willie Nelson's Biodiesel bus does deliveries, we've got no choice but to send your book on normal planes, trains and automobiles. They all deliver your book considerably faster than we could on our bikes, but they belch carbon dioxide into the air the whole time. In case Al Gore hasn't stopped by your house, sat you down, and given you his slideshow yet, we've got some news for you. These carbon dioxide emissions are overheating our planet, causing a "climate crisis". Carbon Offsets are a way that we can "offset" these emissions through the purchase of clean energy credits and reversing deforestation. It is only a few pennies per book, but when thousands of people do it every day it adds up.

We looked at our shipments and used’s Carbonfree™ Shipping application to estimate the average offset needed for our packages and we always round up. 100% of the funds charged as Carbon Offsets WILL be used to purchase carbon offsets. Once Better World Books is 100% carbon neutral, we'll start to offset the carbon emissions of our non-profit partners. After that, we'll offset Exxon's emissions. They'll never know what hit 'em.

We work with to make this possible. If you like it, demand Carbonfree™ Shipping wherever you shop online.

CAN al gore stop by my house? and i also like the "if you like it." thanks for letting me make up my own mind. :)

also, i went to a great used bookstore today. you know, one of those places with narrow aisles and books stacked to the ceiling. when the phone rang, the man answered it "bookstore." talk about matter-of-fact.

please join me in making fun of the army's recruiting commercials. brother and his ROTC friends do - "army strong. army sad."

Monday, October 29, 2007

"so apparently this detachable penis song is something people have actually heard of."

oh, and you haven't? clearly, you are NOT cool if this is not your FAVORITE song.

kind of catchy, though.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

please. i had that on my aim profile.

anyone catch the sportscenter interview with stanford football coach jim harbaugh?

well, first of all, he looked really confused about the whole thing. not that i'm judging. i mean, i wouldn't want espn to interview me. [lie. i totally would.] and it's not that i don't appreciate his beating usc, because ohhh, i do.

but, in answer to "what was the key to winning the game?" here's what he said.
[glance down] well, that our players decided that they could win. so many times in life, so many people tell you no, until it becomes a hundred cant's, a hundred no's, you can't do this, you're not big enough, you're not fast enough, you're not strong enough... until finally our football team said yes, and all those no's and cant's became meaningless, last night in the coliseum.
now, i have seen that before.
all your life you are told the things you cannot do. all your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough. they'll say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. they will tell you no, a thousand times no. until all the no's become meaningless. all your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.
they will tell you no.
and you will tell them yes.
who remembers this from the greatest nike ad ever? i mean, i think i still have the original page torn out from a magazine. SO BADASS. but i don't know how i feel about just randomly quoting it on sportscenter.

unless, of course, it's up on the wall of your training room and it gets stuck in your head. in that case, all i have to say is THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE HARDER IT IS TO SURRENDER!!!

while i was looking up the nike ad, i found this. i think it's from my first visit home from college. aww. so classic. as was seeing mike last summer and realizing that i'm now older than he was when he started coaching us.

me: mike, is my technique on a downward spiral?
mike: you could say that.
joe: that would imply that you were once on a peak.
me: that was when you were coaching me. that was my peak!
joe: oh. you were pretty rough then. i haven't seen you row now, but...
me: at least i had some leg drive.
joe: that can't be coached.
me: i need to get good in the next week and a half.
mike: you're carrying your blade too low on the water. that's where all your problems start.
me: that's how they wanted me to row at school!
mike: well, i wouldn't do that.

is it weird that this all makes me kind of nostalgic?

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

"el preterito. it blowito."

b: that's the other fun thing i did at the catholic worker - watched the scooby doo where they go to mexico.
m: well, what were they doing down THERE?
j: [nods knowingly] chasing the chupacabra.

yeah, he hadn't seen this one. he just assumed. because what else would they be doing down there, besides meddling? it wasn't the real chupacabra, by the way - just someone in a costume. [spoiler alert. sorry.]

so tonight, after dinner, i got to help watch the kids while their parents were at a house meeting. totally ideal, and here's why - the two-year-old twins are totally at the same level of spanish that i am. alejandro [or jesus, depending] played a little spanish game with me.

a/j: que es esto?
b: la luz.
a/j: que es esto?
b: una botella.
a/j: que es esto?
b: um... no se.

and then he would answer "la luna!" [to be fair, he was pointing at a poster] or "rainbow!" [same poster] depending on whether he was feeling the english or spanish. he'd be a little disappointed if i didn't know the answer. and he's right, because he can conjugate verbs and i can't.

potty training, by the way, is universal. no language barrier there.


Thursday, September 27, 2007


i mean, here are my up-to-the-minute observations on the season premiere of the office. i'm basically the sports guy. only not a guy. and not with sports.

PAM IS SO PRETTY! soooooo pretty.

good friends again? WTF.

hahahaha, i love kevin. love him. "pam and jim are TOTALLY hooking up."

oscar. "they've been in remarkably good moods. could be other things."

i have a sweater JUST like pam's. i swear.

HAHAHAHA making angela feel guilty about party planning! yes!

"i'm still the big dog in a... fairly... large pond."

"like pb and j. pam beasley and jim. what a waste. what. a. waste."

um. pam and jim are SO TOTALLY SNEAKING AROUND. i knew it, and you know how i knew? because pam is pretty.

THE TV CREW is confronting them. I LOVE THAT. as if pam's hair weren't proof enough. awww, and they are cute!

dangling participle? is that what they're calling it these days?

haha, i really want to see jan and pam fight. over michael.

dwight has a really great run. really great.

"you don't know me. you've just seen my penis." money to whoever can use that in context.

okay, awesome. i forgot how addicted i am to TV.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


okay, it's hard for me to be objective about small children - but this is adorable.

first of all, these parents are using good pedagogy because she's obviously using physical cues to remember. second of all - surely? surely? i love it. i know it's a coincidence, but i want to pray that. surely? SURELY? are you SURE? yes.

don't watch any of the other children reading bible verses, though. wooooosh. here's me being judgy, but do NOT have your child do "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" as a cute youtube memory verse. i will suspect you of having serious issues.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


one of my coworkers made fun of me today for leaving a computer that was signed on to everything - "you're, like, way signed on. i'm in your email... your gradebook... your blog..."

which was false.

this is the real me.

guys, i'm having some serious trouble with the whole "never acknowledge another person's presence in any way" rule on the el. the other day, i offered my seat to a lady who, while not very old, had some gray hair. i'm just saying. anyway, i said something like, "i'm not offering you this seat because you're old! it's just that you're older than i am." but then she didn't hear me, and i had to repeat it twice. it was much less funny the third time. she was pretty awkwarded out, to be honest, and the 2,000 people squished around us just pretended they weren't listening. as usual.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

sweet home

conversation between two loud twentysomething women on the el today. ready go.

1: [getting on the train] so she was tooootally macking on this guy at the bar! and i walked by and called her a hooker, and she was like, so that's why you never called me back!
1: i mean, i guess he's 26. and maybe that's what we did when we were 26. but i think, as you get older, and relationships mature... like, whenever a guy i was dating did something mean or whatever, i told ALL my friends.
2: they say you should never tell your parents if a guy is a jerk or whatever.
1: right, because then you're like, oh, i like him again and they're like, why. he's a dick.
1: but then i think about it, and I'M kind of a dick.
2: i mean, right. i'm no great shakes.
1: it's like, i need my alone time too...

so today, i did something i haven't done since first grade - missed my stop on the bus. [this time, my mom wasn't there to run after the school bus. i have a very clear memory of looking out the back window at my mom running down the street after us.] i'm riding, and there's the tribune building, and the building from the allstate commercial, and we're on michigan, and then the driver goes, "end of the line, ma'am" and i was like, what? where was lake and state? and he very nicely directed me to the bus going in the other direction.

[i've told this story a few times, and every time i've started it with, "so you know how i always talk to strangers?"] the second bus driver, when i told him my story, very nicely asked which stop i had missed. i said, you know, state and lake. [see the picture. embarrased to have missed it, right?]

and then HE said that the bus doesn't GO that way on the way back. soutbound on state, northbound on michigan. or whatever. i didn't really get it. [kind of like every single other time someone tries to tell me where something is in chicago.] but the point is, i didn't miss the stop. the DRIVER missed the stop.

so there?

and there you go. adventures in the big city.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

sock puppets

here's a comment from planicka that apparently isn't showing up on the last post:
Hey B. I suppose I could just email you, but all your other faithful readers might enjoy this too. On a whim I followed the link to God's Politics, and encountered a great story on the Vatican and Conscientious Objection. Liking the story, I followed the link to the author's blog, and, well, just read the post on 7/4/07. Powerful stuff, I'd say. Godspeed.
also, have you all been following the story about the ceo of whole foods, who's been posting online about his competitors? i mean, anonymously? it reminds me of something we all used to do in high school, but that's another story... anyway, you can read about it at nytimes [an analysis of the situation] or listen at npr [this was when it first came out, and it's just funny].

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

"So the question becomes, what kind of future's in store when even children of relative privilege can't afford to work for the public good?"

okay, this is verrrry interesting.

Are young Americans more interested in selling out than changing the world? Daniel Brook's new book argues that 20-somethings are forced to choose between living by their ideals or making a living.

also, i think it points us toward save-the-world organizations that provide housing, health insurance, job security, loan deferral, grants - anything to make activism a practical choice. especially without universal healthcare [ahem] and with all my student loans [ahem ahem].


this from the opinionator:
When Senators talk about raising their state’s profile, they usually mean they’ll try to bring home prestigious new federal facilities or other pork projects to their voters. Ted Kennedy has more animated plans — involving “The Simpsons” — according to Ryan Kelly at CQPolitics:

“Last week, Kennedy urged everyone on the e-mail list of his leadership political action organization, the Committee for a Democratic Majority, to vote for Springfield, Mass., in a USA Today contest to determine which of the 14 American cities named Springfield should assume the status of real-world equivalent for the Simpson clan’s hometown.”

the really funny part, though, is that i already voted for springfield, mass. so there you go.

get your parents over here!

Free Online Dating

Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

thanks, planicka. apparently the words "abortion" and "punch" are not good for the kiddies.

Sunday, July 08, 2007


"... and then Harry and Voldermort have a face-off and kill each other, because Harry has to die or else all his fans will want J.K. Rowling to keep writing these books until she goes nuts."

this salon article is my favorite harry potter prediction-izing so far. and i agree with the above point [made by an eight-year-old, but whatev] that the REAL reason harry might need to die is so that JK doesn't have to write two million more books. i also agree that we will all be scarred for life by book 7. i don't know who it's going to be, but there will be tears.

many of you know that i can't read it until a week after it comes out. how am i going to go a week without finding out what happens? well, probably by not reading anything online, ever. so there's that.

Friday, July 06, 2007

"America knows you did everything you could, and we couldn't be more proud of you..."

stole this one from greg, and it's awesome.

The nation then went out of its way to praise Griffey for the many great moments and high points of Griffey's career, claiming it had "always meant to do so but never seemed to find the right moment."

has everyone heard "eulogy" by the hereafter? "a dollar for an afternoon with you..." [siiigh.] i have to warn you that it's sweet and sad and mostly random church bells playing, but i love it. i also listened to "short skirt/long jacket" [see below] and "closer" by ann colville many, many times in the past few days, which was a little dangerous when i had my ipod and wanted to dance around in public.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

brown line waiting on the outside track! make your connection!

just rode the el for the first time, and let me just tell you that the cta voice is very clear and polite. i love it. "this... is damen." hey, thanks for the info! and for not mumbling!

my dad just made up a joke. ready?

q: what kind of cheese just makes things up as it goes along?
a: improvolone.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

and a looooooooooooong jacket

you know what song i love? short skirt/long jacket by cake. i loved it in waitress. and i love the person who, on a fan site for the movie, posted that there is a song in the movie by cake and pointed out that it's an ironic choice. because, see, the movie is about PIE. i'm not sure that's why they used the song, but it's a great song and a great movie and i recommend them both.

happy fourth, friends. and on this lovely summer holiday, i would like to assure you all that i haven't forgotten about baseball.

at the reds/indians game:
indians fans: [cheering because their team is, you know, doing well]
random guy a few rows up: you suck, braves! no one likes you! you're playing against one of the worst teams in baseball!
[awkward pause]
another random: braves?
RGFRU: i mean... INDIANS!

props to this guy for re-yelling with the correct name. way to edit your remarks.

so i'll let you know how the new GM does. for now, all i have to report is that they're not playing "heyyyy cincinnati - go reds!" for the batters who didn't choose a random country or rap song for when they're up to bat. so there's that. i kind of miss it.

i think they're making me smarter, actually.


i'm currently using the normal avery highlighters, which i also recommend. "cap left off... still marks!" really, it's true, and it's a very useful feature.

but retractable - now, THAT would be awesome.

live from antarctica

so i was listening to all things considered [as USUAL] yesterday and heard this story about a band from the seventh continent - and i was like, whaaat? [as i'm sure you all are, now. so interested. sucked in to the story.]

but you have to listen to it to get the full effect. for these reasons:
1. british accent.
2. "well, we're not sure if we're as big as metallica..."

hilarious, and also - has anyone heard from metallica recently? i haven't, since they killed napster. i mean, maybe i'm just that far out of the scene, right?

but here's my main context for metallica in the past few years, and it's from pictionary with dave's family of pictionary world champions:
me: metal... music? a metal band?! which band? oh gosh, i don't know ANY metal bands...
my team: [eyes bulging, forehead veins popping]
other team: you're going to be so mad when you find out what it is... [superior look, head shake]

i hate pictionary.


signs of the times

The Pharisees and Sadducees came and, to test him, asked him to show them a sign from heaven. Jesus said to them in reply, "In the evening you say, 'Tomorrow will be fair, for the sky is red'; and, in the morning, 'Today will be stormy, for the sky is red and threatening.' You know how to judge the appearance of the sky, but you cannot judge the signs of the times."
- Matthew 16:1-3
and then he goes on to talk about a faithless generation. but oh my - this is what vatican ii and later documents are referring to when they talk about how the church needs to read the signs of the times. and i love it.

we're looking for what's good in the world...

doubters: hey, where's God's kingdom? all i see is bad, bad stuff. kids today.
JC: read the signs of the times!

there are signs of God's love everywhere, people. look around.

["i also believe in original virtue. look around!" - kurt vonnegut.]

also, i love this idea about how facebook could take over the world. seriously. a real news feed? email? AND people writing on my wall? i'm totally in.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

some more news and things.

i can't get it bigger, sorry - just click on it. [you can see the graphic and the article yourself too.] young americans are leaning left on universal health care and gay marriage, but they're the same as adult americans on abortion and global warming. hmmm. thoughts?

i always like commonweal, as the world knows - but i thought these two different opinions on homosexuality and the church were very thoughtful. one talks about how the issue is really the limits of church authority and interpretation of scripture, and how we need some changes. the other talks about celibacy and sacrifice. both are either gay or have gay children, and i appreciate their efforts at authenticity. i know i'm predisposed to like everything that's written in commonweal ever, but i appreciate the dialogue.

also, i may or may not have a huge crush on this guy. something to do with a social conscience? loves dogs and his mother? athletic OR musical? seriously, though, it's a good story.

i'm watching the first two episodes of season two of the west wing with commentary. in the first one, janel moloney talks sort of breathlessly about how much she loves and admires all the other actors. [especially brad, CLEARLY.] in the second one, martin sheen cracks up the entire time, except for the times he's appropriately solemn. i love it.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

"earth's the right place for love"

this is what we need. and yes, all i can think of in my head is finn's hotel. [random memory from high school spanish: "you don't need to say 'crazy in the head.' where else would you be crazy, in your stomach?" if i were editing my own blog, i would take my red pen and cross out "in my head" above.]

"People have been falling in love through every dismal era of history and through every war ever fought. Enormous black headlines in the newspapers and agitated talk in the cafes and yet she waited for him on the corner by the hotel where they had agreed to meet, and as traffic streamed past she watched the buses pulling up to the curb, looking for his familiar shape, his beautiful face, his slight smile. Under her arm, a newspaper, and inside it a columnist shaking his tiny fist at corruption, but it isn't worth two cents compared to what's in her heart. When her lover steps down, the air will be filled with bright purple blossoms and they will embrace and turn and go into the hotel, and on this, the future of the world depends."
- Garrison Keillor, "Love Will Outlast Bush"

i saved this article a year ago because it's so rare that i read something that i actually wish i had written. it's not just that i want to read this over and over again - i want to be able to WRITE THIS. it reminds me of a certain conversation i had with a certain friend about a certain book that included some of my favorite descriptions of a book, ever: "I'm writing you in somewhat of a frenzy. I've just finished Swann's Way by Marcel Proust. Upon completing it I swore frequently and then jumped around my room for a while. I have just finished one of the greatest novels I have ever read, one of the greatest novels I could ever hope to read, and I'm caught in this swirl of fervent emotions...." and then, among his many emotions, "I want to burn the book because it has waxed upon every subject that I might, one day, like to write, and it has done it infinitely better than I ever could...." [thanks to gmail and its searchability for this one. i'd like to ask this friend's permission to quote him in my blog, but he's in mexico, so who cares. note to my friends who have been abroad or in the seminary for more than a year: this isn't funny anymore. GET BACK HERE.] but yes, this is one of those times when i feel like i'm going to spend the rest of my life reading this stuff without ever figuring out how to write it. not a bad life, though.

"out, out-" by robert frost came up in a great conversation this week, which of course reminds me of the entire awesomeness of "birches." [and both good conversations and "birches" remind me of being aware of college. yes and yes.] but yeah, frost. he's like a punch in the face. you can't exerpt this stuff. you've got to read the whole thing, and then you get to the end, and - PUNCH!

here's what it's like - the end of "suite: judy blue eyes." you've got to listen to the whole song before you can get to the do do do do part. and it's better that way. come on, who's with me on this? planicka? "que linda me la traiga cuba..."

there's only one way
i know
how to do this
stay here.

ahhh, joshua radin. you always get me.

Friday, June 15, 2007

"third way" = excitement

i thought that this post on "a new pro-life" was going to be old news, but look! a third way! yessss. i also like the "not left or right, but deeper." maybe i've been reading too many vatican ii documents, but the christian response can't be determined by political parties. especially when we see that our solutions aren't going to be in human categories. ahjdlsjakas! my brain is mush. too much highlighting.

daily schedule lately:
1. get up too early.
2. put on scrubby clothes or different pajamas.
3. brew and drink six cups of coffee.
4. study.

so, no wonder i can't put together a cogent blog post.

am i headed for the same brick wall?
is there anything i can do about anything at all?
except go back to that corner in manhattan
and dig deeper
dig deeper this time
- ani, "fuel"

Thursday, June 14, 2007

daily news review

"text in time saves nimble-fingered teen"

important question - what was the text? "idk my bff jill"?

"it sort of plants a seed of hopefulness"

yeah, sort of. [aggravation at non-specific language. does it, or doesn't it? SORT OF? way to speak up. i mean, to her credit, i'm glad no one's writing down whatever i say.] anyway, i'm glad someone's noticed how many of my friends are doing random save-the-world things. and i'm really glad that some of these programs are starting to be competetive as far as offering benefits to their volunteers - i mean, better stipends, help with housing, jobs they like, but also quick decisions and support and things like that. i think you can get more people to save the world if you give them what they need while they're doing it. it's a good idea.

"ruff idea: dogs on fountain square"

that's literally [and i do mean literally] the headline in the cincinnati enquirer today. hehe. i'm so sad it's not in the online version. i hope someone was like, "hey, that looks stupid! change it."

i'm reminded of an idea we once had about public service announcements.

we take this very serious.
adverbs. pass it on.

#2 [today's addition]
i literally died when i heard that.
precise language. pass it on.

let's reflect on what 2003 would have been like with youtube.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

that's MISS chanadler bong.

i'm flipping channels and my favorite friends episode is on. the one with the embryos, of course, when the girls lose the apartment to the guys in ross's game show.

"oooooh! that's interesting!"

Friday, June 08, 2007

"how come God gets credit whenever anything good happens?"

i'm watching house, and i'd just like to say that i love to see shows in which God's action is unclear. i do not usually appreciate shows that try to explain what God is doing.

"i don't want to see you praying! i don't want to share credit for this!"

also, i just fast forwarded through a tivo commercial.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

i heart david e. kelly


things that my parents have that i'm not used to:
1. trees
2. darkness
3. stars
4. tivo
5. brother cooking dinner

i've decided i'm doing a cleansweep of my life. but i'm keeping all my books.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

ban comic sans

okay, you all must read this article about fonts.

now, i don't pretend to be a design expert. but i can tell you the fonts that all my friends have used on AIM for the last seven years. so there's that. do you think that these people hate many of my friends on spec? [if nothing else, click on the "photos" link. there's a whole collection of grassroots propaganda, with pictures and literature stuck to instances of comic sans all over the world.]

things that worry me: where i'll find free internet next, the baby who threw up on the flight here who is also on the return flight, going to the bathroom from the window seat, whether or not i can sleep my computer instead of turning it off for takeoff, and whether "on spec" is trite.

[later edit: i just re-read this post and got mad that i used the phrase "on spec" before i noticed that i already questioned it the first time. please note both my obsession with writing style and the enjoyment i get from reading my own blog.]

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

reds and volunteers

now that's support - this one's from paul. thanks, ken griffey, for being weird and apparently also appealing. the weirdest thing about this article is how thrilled the guy was. like, spend the whole game insulting him, and then think he's awesome when he notices you? awesome. i also think it's weird that making fun of the guy for being fat was apparently fine.

the picture's from this nytimes article, courtesy of the miz - i guess they tore down the glove factory? where are we going to unload our boats? :) for those of you who don't know, that's tennessee's boathouse on the water on the far right. first floor boats, second floor ergs and offices, third floor restaurant. totally sweet setup.

i've said it before and i'll say it again - tennessee has the nicest fans and the best food. talk about southern hospitality. that sweet tea and red velvet cake almost made up for being in tennessee for spring break. the food, and also being with teammates. remember the wireless internet at krystal? yessss.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

adam brody = siiiigh

saw the movie "in the land of women" tonight. it was free. among the few other people in the theater were four high school students. the two boys ended up sitting in the front row, with the two girls three rows behind. at the end of the movie, the boys stood up and said, "nice pick, girls," with a pppphhhhbbb and a thumbs down. the girls said "shut uppppp" and started texting as they followed the boys out. classic.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

art and science

“The artist, since the beginning of time, has always expressed the aspirations and dreams of his people,” she said. “Silence the artist and you have silenced the most articulate voice the people have.”
- katharine hepburn, speaking against the house committee on un-american activities in 1947.

also, this, on the a scientific study of the five-second rule:
"What do these numbers tell us about the five-second rule? Quick retrieval does mean fewer bacteria, but it’s no guarantee of safety."

Sunday, May 06, 2007

"yayyy! i love puns!"

has everyone seen the sex and the city skit on SNL with christina aguilera hosting? christina does a really, really good samantha. i was freaking out. "speaking of BIG secrets... i'm a dude!" nice. i don't know how she does the samantha voice, but YEAH. also, obviously they make fun of the puns. "samantha was lying about having a penis, but weren't we all lying about having... hap-penis?"

the actress who plays charlotte also does an awesome job sitting up straight and being overly supportive.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

middle middle middle america

this was the lead local news story on the ten o'clock news tonight. "an animal lover's worst nightmare - their pet being brutally killed. it happened to a morton man's dog thursday afternoon and now an entire neighborhood is on edge..." okay. this is the LEAD STORY. a freaking puppy was killed. they interviewed several people and read the story [the transcript linked above is pretty word-for-word] with extreme gravity. this is middle america, folks.

on the other hand, in the nati, it's always like "there is a threat to your family that you don't even know about. we'll give you the key to avoiding it - story at eleven." and you're like, i'd like to go to bed - but what about my family's safety? how could i be so irresponsible?

also, note that the late news is on at ten in central time, and there's also early news at nine. has everyone realized that the entire central time zone must be really well rested? i'm watching conan and it's midnight. what IS that.

"it would nod toward both sets of core values..."

this is from commonweal by the awesome cathleen kaveny, on the court upholding the partial-birth abortion ban:
Life versus choice. Personhood versus bodily health and integrity. Women versus
unborn children. Are we in for another thirty years of abortion wars? I think
the Court was right in upholding the act’s constitutionality. At the same time,
I think the law itself will exacerbate conflict over core values rather than
ameliorate that conflict. But maybe there’s another way. Is it possible, for
example, to design a law that prohibits a range of late-term abortions, while at
the same time including a clear and defined health exception? Would such a law
be upheld by the Roberts Court? Perhaps. Such a law would not satisfy activists
on either side. But it would nod toward both sets of core values: it would
highlight the humanity of unborn life while recognizing that secular law should
not require a woman to sacrifice her fundamental physical integrity to carry her
baby to term. Maybe that’s a step toward a workable compromise. But I’m not
holding my breath.
i appreciate her distinction on values. i understand that opposition to abortion is seen as a priority value for many people [what's that word? when it's the most important thing?], but i think we'd do well to remember that pro-choice advocates are also using legitimate values. professor kaveny is good about this. watch the movie citizen ruth and you'll see...

but yes. planned parenthood is not the devil. i'm convinced that they're really trying to do something good. so where's the "workable compromise" of values?

as always, i have no answers...

Sunday, April 29, 2007

feminist Cosby

I've been watching a lot of Cosby reruns on Nick at Nite. Love it.

1. Has everyone noticed how the show engages some sort of awesome feminist issues? Mrs. Huxtable is a strong career woman and she's very obviously passed that on to her daughters, and they can talk about their role as women with both their parents. I like it.
Sandra: You won't let me pump gasoline, but you'll ask me to get you a sandwich? Why is that?
Elvin: That's because pumping gas makes your hands smelly and dirty. Women should not smell like gasoline. They should smell like... sandwiches.
2. I always wanted to be able to dance like they do in the intro. Okay, still do.
3. I have always loved Theo. He's the one. I didn't realize it until I think high school, when I started watching reruns again and got all nervous and giggly when Theo was onscreen.
4. I remember the house from that show like I remember the house I grew up in. Seriously, I think I watched too much TV. I got to watch Cosby with my parents, and I had to go to bed when Cheers came on. I'd hear the theme song and knwo it was time for bed...

I have a great memory about the show from when I was about seven. We were watching TV at my grandparents' condo (their old condo, not the house) and I had gotten to stay up with the big kids and grownups for the first time. We were flipping channels, and the Cosby show came on, and my oldest cousin goes "Oh, I've seen this one. Rudy's sad because she doesn't have boobs yet." I was very impressed by her maturity in saying "boobs" in front of grandpa and everyone, but I think that she was probably in college at the time. (Still, I don't know if I'd say "boobs" at a family gathering, even now.) Anyway, for some reason, I said, "But I want to watch it!" and everyone laughed and said "FRB's in charge of the TV tonight!" I don't know if my cousin was mad or what. Of course, I had also already seen that episode. And I still love reruns.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

moves like a fist through traffic

i believe in the future
i may live in my car
my radio tuned to the voice of a star
song dogs barking at the break of dawn
lighting pushes the edges of a thunderstorm
and these old hopes and dreams still at my side

what is up with stars. i live downtown. i feel like i haven't seen stars in years.

stupid ambient light.

and sometimes even music cannot substitute for tears

if you haven't yet, or haven't recently, please listen to paul simon's "the cool, cool river." i really love this song, if only for "the rage of love turns inward to prayers of devotion..." but also for several other awesome, awesome lines. i remember struggling with which lines i could fit in my aim profile, which ones people would understand, how many characters i had left, etc.

but now i have a blog! and i can put in as many words as i want!

i believe in the future
we shall suffer no more
maybe not in my lifetime
but in yours

i also believe in the future, when we see face to face, the things we think are important now won't seem so important. but that's some rage for a different day.

Friday, April 27, 2007

[casually] oh, hey.

i know, i know, i'm such a blog loser.

here's a shoutout, or a business opportunity for all those of you who'd like to fund an independent film. there's more at go ahead, tell john you think he's brilliant.

and here are some things from mcsweeney's that i think are exceptionally funny.
Zen Parable or Just Someone Being Cruel?
Possible Titles for Future Sue Grafton Novels After She Runs Out of Letters, because my mom is always reading G is for Gumshoe and M is for Malice and such things. she's on T is for Trespass (sue, not my mom), and i think U is for Undercover seems like an obvious choice. i should suggest it.

um. i hope to be more profound slash funny later.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

happy opening day!

the jim borgman is courtesy of kathr.

i heart borgman. don't tell him i posted this on my blog...

and you know who else i heart? ADAM DUNN. he is SO GOOD at baseball.

and the reds are undefeated. let's reflect on that for... well, as long as we can.

joe didn't believe me when i said that you can get reds tickets for $5 on weeknights at home. [and great american rules as a ballpark. i'm just saying.] that's the good thing about being a reds fan, friends. no one wants to go to games.

oh, i kid. what i mean is, there's not a bullshit bandwagon. YEAH.

heyyyyy cincinnati - GO REDS!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein

this is the most e-mailed article on and it wasn't even on the morning email - it's a late post. and 100% of those emails were, "hey, this is hilarious!"

Sunday, February 11, 2007


this is what i missed because i had the stupid, stupid flu.

here's what i wonder: who recommended the "let's be the generation" language to him? because i've met lots of people from older generations who don't like him at all. he doesn't seem to be speaking to old people at all, and i'm not sure he can get elected without them. i mean, i realize i'm not technically barack's generation either. but when he says "our generation," i say, "yeah!" i'm not sure that people who are older than he is feel the same way.

another criticism i heard - that obama and the other early candidates should stop it with the "glittering alliteration" and talk about what they're actually going to do. i'd say that, first of all, it's not really time for nuts and bolts yet. and second of all, he pretty much laid out what's going to be important to him.

also, "glittering alliteration" is a great phrase. i'm going to remember that one. and the speech gave me goosebumps. so there, critics.

"let's do this."

Monday, January 29, 2007

this conversation needs to be recorded.

b: i just wish they would stop using the random LATIN all the time. i hate that, when people speak in another language just to show that they know it and other people don't.
r: vas?
s: i could definitely go sans that.
p: it's a real catch-22...

nice, friends. nice. [and i'll really be okay with the latin, since i also quoted it MYSELF in this very blog. right.]

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

total one-up

or, instead of reading my post from yesterday, you could read diana butler bass's article, "beyond the stale rituals of abortion politics," on the God's politics blog today. she talks about hauerwas, which is always exciting, and has some interesting things to say about power. so just go ahead and read that.

Monday, January 22, 2007

on love?

stumbled across this while preparing for bible study:
Imagine this. What if there were a politician who could somehow speak of
love? What if there were a President who would not only talk of a kinder and
gentler nation but refuse to drop bombs upon a city like Baghdad? What if a
people's nobler hopes and dreams were addressed, their latent generosity and
fairness, their willingness to share with the unfortunate?

What if there were a liberal politician who could spare as much love for
human fetuses as he or she can muster for baby seals and trees? What if there
were a conservative politician who realized that words of love apply to
criminals and refugees as much as they do to unborn humans and middle-class
Christians? Such a politician would be a person whose professional life was
informed by a faith and love that necessarily yields justice.

It would not be easy. Jesus himself, after he announced the good news to
the poor, first amazed, then angered his audience. He was too ordinary and too
close to give such prophetic utterance. It cannot be real. He cannot be real.
Eventually they were filled with rage and wanted to cast him out. So it went
when he began his ministry.

How goes it with Christians today?

hey, john kavanaugh. i think that will be appropriate for today. what's our prophetic message? i don't think it's a mistake that next sunday's readings contain paul's famous discourse on love, jeremiah's "before i formed you in the womb," and the story about how people from jesus' hometown try to stone him when he preaches.

on the anniversary of roe v. wade, i'd just like to say that i don't think our current anti-abortion rhetoric is working. i'm tired of talking about how many babies are dying and how we need to vote for the people who will keep that from happening. it makes me really sad, for one, to hear more about death and violence and all this. it makes me wonder why we're still preaching to the choir on this issue. and then it frustrates me that it's not working and we're not looking at new options. there was a lot of talk last year about the pro-life movement and how we need to focus on reducing the number of abortions instead of using the "abortion is murder" tactic. one side yells murder, the other yells freedom, and we're still in the same place...

i don't know what the new options are. something about love. something rooted in prayer. something about realizing we're part of a community. something about a call that's higher than judgment and closer to taking care of others. something more personal, maybe. but i'm convinced that we're called to do more than what we're doing now.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

fabulous. that's right.

this was sort of hazardous to my life, as i heard it in the car and liked it so much that i wasn't so much focused on my driving. [check out librivox to download audiobooks for free, because they're all in the public domain and recorded by volunteers.]
Shams and delusions are esteemed for soundest truths, while reality is fabulous. If men would steadily observe realities only, and not allow themselves to be deluded, life, to compare it with such things as we know, would be like a fairy tale and the Arabian Nights' Entertainments. If we respected only what is inevitable and has a right to be, music and poetry would resound along the streets. When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.
- Thoreau, Walden

Friday, January 19, 2007

your candidates...

i don't know exactly what a prayer is

ahhh. where has this poem been all my life? [well, it's been quoted in several AIM profiles. but that doesn't count as much.]

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver

Friday, January 12, 2007


the timing's bad, but this take on charlie weis is hi-larious.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

woooo minimum wage increase!

predictably, my comment on this piece of legislation will be "about damn time."

Sen. Ted Kennedy, in a press conference before the vote, called the bill a matter of both "family values" and "civil rights," citing the large proportion of black and Hispanic workers the minimum wage affects.

well, that's interesting. hey, family values. apparently ted kennedy is also interested in ending the "monologue of the Religious Right."

[you've got to watch the religious right... always monologuing...]

what in God's eye he is

if any you have not read this hopkins poem, please do so immediately. i was just looking through my notes from trinity class - some of you will remember a certain australian italian professor who shared many, many poems with us. love it. anyway, this particular one was referenced in something i read recently. i forget what.

i will keep the bad things from you
i will keep a straight face, honey

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

"i am not resigned."

there's an op-ed in the nytimes today called "taken by the tide," by billy sothern. it's fabulous. it's about new orleans and it's sad, but i loved reading it because it's so well-written. it's like reading a short story. [i know you can only read it today-ish, but i like going along with whatever the publishers are doing.]

i think i'm on a little bit of literature withdrawal.

and here's this, for all your grammar snarks out there. yes, i think this kind of thing is funny. i really laughed as i read it.

"i'm an english teacher. you do the math." this is actually a t-shirt that you can BUY. i mean, apparently everything is a t-shirt you can buy, but whatever.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

public service announcement

sooooo i emailed verizon to ask them to get the office theme song as a ringtone. because I LOVE IT and, you know, i'm going to be one of those people who asks for things.

so here's the reply i got from them.

Thank you for contacting Verizon Wireless through our website.

Good afternoon, I received your inquiry regarding searching for a specific ringtone. My name is Beth and it's my pleasure to assist you today.

To help you locate the desired ringtones, many Get It Now ringtone applications have corresponding websites that let you browse and preview their ringtone library from your computer. To find out which ringtone applications are available for your phone:

1. Visit
2. Choose "Get Tones"
3. Select your phone from the dropdown box on the left side of the screen
4. Click "Details" under the application's icon.

Below I have provided a list of the Get It Now ringtone applications that have websites for ringtone previews:

MIDI Ringtones:

To find the specific ringtone for which you are looking, please verify which ringtone applications are available for your handset and then visit the application developer's website to search their online catalog.

Each application developer is constantly adding new content, so if you are not able to find the specific ringtone for which you are looking, it may be available in the future. Some ringtone developers even allow you submit ringtone requests, such as Modtones.

Once you have found your desired ringtone within a ringtone application, you will download that specific ringtone application to your phone. Once you have the application downloaded, you can then download the desired ringtone from your handset.

We appreciate your business. Thank you for using Verizon Wireless products and services. Should you have additional questions or concerns, please reply to this e-mail.


Verizon Wireless
Customer Service

"We never stop working for you!"

really. apparently they actually don't stop working for me and then send me helpful emails.

seriously, did you all know this? i consider myself pretty good at technological things, but ringtones, for some reason, are completely beyond me.

that's my story, and i'm sticking to it.

Friday, January 05, 2007

all men and women are created equal

1. snark of the week is about a comment by mara liasson on npr that "there are these two 800-pound gorillas in the democratic race..." she's talking about the fact that clinton and obama haven't yet said they're running even though everyone knows it. but i hope that some interns in their press offices found that quote and laughed a lot. and maybe bought it to their bosses and told them that mara liasson called them fat.

2. "i don't know if the pants still fit, but i know the hat will." - harrison ford, on MAKING ANOTHER INDIANA JONES. oh boy oh boy.

3. i heard that ellison was making a "politically savvy" move regarding people being mad that he's swearing in on the koran. i was like, aw hell, someone told him not to do it. but guess what. he's swearing on on THOMAS JEFFERSON'S KORAN. because thomas jefferson had the koran. take that, people who say that this country is built on christianity alone. you can't argue with mr. jefferson.

4. here's something troubling. i mean, it's been bothering me for a while. i was reading the reviews on the book a daring promise, by richard gaillardetz.

here's the first one, that made me say hmmm, looks good:

Gaillardetz has served on the Catholic delegation in the Methodist-Catholic dialogues, and his writing reflects his ecumenical sensitivity. As a Methodist myself (married to a Catholic), I very much appreciate his tone. It is a pleasant change from those Catholic authors who write with what I call the "fullness of truth" attitude. I also appreciate the author's sensitivity to those who are unable or choose not to have children. Overall, I highly recommend this book to Christians (Catholics and non-Catholics alike) who seek a practical framework for making sense of Christian marriage.

this, from a catholic theologian [self-proclaimed]:

I must disagree with those who say that G is unfaithful to the magisterial teaching on contraception. On the contrary, he presents the official teaching accurately and sympathetically. At the same time he is candid about the difficulty of adhering strictly to the discipline of natural family planning, but cautions readers against ignoring the discipline simply because it isn't easy.

and then this one:

The other item was his flawed view of conscience. When talking about the Catholic Church's teaching on contraception, he does a decent job of explaining why the Church teaches against it, but in almost the last sentence about the subject he says that if you still don't buy it and your conscience tells you the teaching against contraception is not for you, then you must follow your conscience and dissent from the Church's authoritative teachings. He should reread the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1792: CCC 1792 Ignorance of Christ and his Gospel, bad example given by others, enslavement to one's passions, assertion of a mistaken notion of autonomy of conscience, rejection of the Church's authority and her teaching, lack of conversion and of charity: these can be at the source of errors of judgment in moral conduct.

okay, first of all, the last post is crappily written, which you all know makes me completely prejudiced. [keeping me humble: the fact that i can't spell prejudice without thinking really hard.] but because i'd like us all to have legitimate opinions, i'd like people to express their ideas in ways that appear reasonable. you know? all right, i'm a style-ist.

at any rate, it's not a catholic book, it's a "christian marriage" book. and birth control, i believe, is not an issue of public morality - or, at least, i think that's what this speech i've been meaning to read is going to say. i worry that the emphasis on morality above all else is distracting and divisive. more about this later, i think.

5. "Never losing faith, we worked to redeem the promise of America, that all men and women are created equal." - Madam Speaker. i like how this happened really normally. like oh, the democrats are in power, and our new speaker is - oh hey, it's a woman. and oh, it's historic. i'd like to be able to tell my granddaughters that this was a historic day and have them be surprised.

6. west wing quote of the week [and you understand i use "week" loosely]:

josh: you know what cj, i really think i'm the best judge of what i mean, you paranoid berkeley shiksa feminista! [pause] whoa, that was way too far.

cj: no, no. well, i've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist harvard fascist missed the dean's list two semesters in a row yankee jackass!

josh: feel a little better getting that off your chest there, cj?

cj: i'm a whole new woman.

you know what other word is hard to spell? fascist.

Monday, January 01, 2007

this isn't my regular tuesday suit.

i've decided this will be the west wing quote of the week. (or, apparently, the west wing quote of 2007.) season 1, when joey lucas comes to the white house and there's all the confusion about josh's "regular tuesday suit."

Josh: What are you smiling at?
Charlie: Fine looking woman, Josh.
Josh: Yes.
Charlie: I could help you out.
Josh: Help me out with what?
Charlie: She's a fine looking woman.
Josh: Stop saying that!
Charlie: I owe you a lot, Josh. You got me this job. I'd like to pay you back.
Josh: By helping me out?
Charlie: By helping you out.
Josh: What makes you think I need any help?
Charlie: She's a fine looking woman...
Josh: Get away from me.

alsoooo, i'm sending back season 1 to amazon because the first eight minutes of one episode won't play AND that's when zoey asks charlie out. like what? that's an important eight minutes. i got my shipping charge refunded when one of my christmas packages was really, really late. i think i might become one of those people who makes reasonable demands and gets things. you know? i like those people.

i've been getting unreasonably tired lately. as at every christmas. boo.