this has been a moment of grammar.

This is why it's important to watch your modifiers.

A rocket scientist with strong ties to the government security is found dead with his crotch on fire, and the SVU detectives must determine if that had something to do with his demise. (SVU Season 2 premiere, "Wrong Is Right")

Also in this episode, they arrest a "popular" and "good" kid (he's in a program to mentor kids with special needs, see) at school and they have to bring him through a crowd of kids and teachers, and the teacher goes, "This CAN'T be right. Not Michael."

Yeah, that's what school is like. I mean, I always think my kids are innocent and wonderful. But probably not enough to argue about it with the police, you know?

an original and unpredictable show.

okay, this is what happens when you watch too much SVU.

me: you missed the crime!!

B: hahhhahahahhaa oh no.

how will I ever follow the plot.

9:10 PM me: oh, i think this is the one where the victim gets upset.

B: is it the one where stabler gets angry at the criminal?

9:11 PM me: oh, i think it's the one where olivia gets personally involved.

B: or the one where Olivia is the only one who truly understands the pain the victim is feeling.

me: wait, OR it's the one where stabler gets in trouble.

B: wait, we're both wrong. it's the one where cragen is there for expositional purposes only.

9:12 PM me: i think this is the one that's really informative about the different viewpoints about a controversial issue.

B: hold on... it's the one with the deli.

me: HAHAHAHA, it's the one with the unrelated creepy guy!

B: ah, now I remember, it's the one with the convenient unrelated - I swear to God I was just typing that.

yeah, we went on for the whole episode. it's possible. this show is awesome.

currently watching the SNL clip whatever show that's on. um, does everyone remember the "lazy sunday" skit? some of the cast members are saying it's the first thing they saw on youtube, ever. is that right? i have reflected before that college would have been a lot different with youtube. [insert short wikipedia research period.] youtube happened in february 2005, and this short was in december 2005. iiiinteresting. i'm so into recent history.

OMG DICK IN A BOX. wait. they can't say "dick" at this hour? hahahaha. did they not say it originally? that part i don't remember. they're saying lorne told them to bleep it because it was the christmas episode and a lot of kids would be watching.

note: the other awesome thing about this show is the 20-second clips of the musical guests.

television commentary, with some bonus rage.

so, i'm sure you all watched NCIS on tuesday, considering that it's television's number one drama. i know, i have such good taste in tv, right? [or, i have the same taste in tv as a lot of other people, which is not quite the same thing.] and i'm sure you're all familiar with the trope in which gibbs is so badass that he leaves his door unlocked, and people are always showing up in his house at all hours.

so, in this episode, we meet a new ladyfriend for gibbs, who then is sitting on his couch when he gets home. and they predictably argue. with a predictable amount of UST.

gibbs: you get five requests [to represent pro-bono cases] a week, and you only seem to pick the ones that bring you face-to-face with me.
ladyfriend: are you really that conceited?
gibbs: you're standing in my house!

hahaaa. good one, gibbs. currently, i'm watching the episode where ziva kills ari for gibbs, and it's all intense. and kate's funeral, where everyone has their kate memories. and abby wears that lacy-black-umbrella getup she always wears to funerals. question - is abby mainstream enough that i can dress like her for halloween without people asking me if i'm some kind of goth doctor?

now i switched to svu. an episode i'm pretty sure i haven't seen, and olivia's hair looks good! very promising. haha, eliot's all, "she seems like my daughter. a normal high school kid." your daughter who is ALWAYS IN TROUBLE for DRAMATIC PURPOSES? sure, she's normal. and - oh, crap. this is the one where the guy is leading the double life. he's not in the congo for work for months at a time! he's his own daughter's boyfriend's father, too! that's why they never want to hang out with other parents!

oh, svu. so out of plots. hahaha, and i love how the one wife is so delusional. olivia's talking to her like, "lady, your double-life-leading husband was NEVER planning to run away to cuba with you. and this concerned look means that i'm secretly judging you."

okay, on with the tv commentary. i love valentine's day, right? but i'm currently snarking the hallmark commercial in which the kid is reading the pre-recorded book. it's like, listen to a recording of a parent reading this book about love! it's cute. maybe your parent is far away. [dad always traveled a lot when we were kids, and he was the best at reading books, so i totally get it.] but then the camera pans, and the parents are just hanging out downstairs. while the kid listens to a recording of one of them? so, as i said, i am currently snarking about this.

i got some sort of free consumer reports health magazine in the mail. the headline is literally "how to keep your heart healthy with pistachio nuts." i'm guessing it's by eating them.

and, because i will not let you go without some feminist rage - a woman from an older generation tasted something one of my friends had baked, and she LITERALLY SAID, "this is so good! now you're ready to get married. maybe i'll set you up with one of my sons." i mean, glad that the days when people thought of women as housekeepers for their husbands is over, right? GAHHH.

cam is so wise.

this is something that's going right up there with "there are many different ways to be a woman" - and it's from bones. yeah. in a conversation about dating and what women like, cam says, "'women' is not an acceptable generalization."

AHA. that's what i've been wanting to say.

yessssss NCIS!

i'm so happy i remembered to watch the NCIS finale! it's on so early in central time. [this is related to how i think people get a lot more sleep in the central time zone, because the shows are on earlier and people get up at the same time, you know?] so far, it seems like ziva's directions are "look like you just cried" and tony's are "squint, as if you're looking into the sun." mcgee is completely oblivious to the interpersonal stuff that's going on, and abby is over-involved. don't worry, gibbs will save them, if the director doesn't coopt his plans.

i know, it sounds like every other episode. but in this one, they're in tel aviv!

in which one of FRB's favorite shows is threatened, and it makes her snarky.

dear nbc, if you take chris and mariska off SVU - i don't even KNOW.

Yet a source close to the matter said talks stalled when the duo -- who, like in their previous negotiations, are banding together -- attempted to go after back-end profits, a perk that's almost never granted in the L&O universe (although exceptions were made for Vincent D'Onofrio and Chris Noth).

how does that mean "hardly ever"? i mean, vincent makes the show. CI is totally different without his weird sideways lean and randomly punctuated speech. [i would make fun of him so bad, if we were friends.] and chris noth is a BIG star. [hehe.] and i defy you to got to itunes, download "doubt," and tell me the show would survive without either eliot or olivia.

also, from a commenter: "I'm angry at their lack of gratitude for what they have! Any one I know would love to earn 7 million a year." well. do you know any television actors? right. i feel like it's a different issue. as a teacher, i earn whatever. in a different position, i'd expect to earn something different. and if the network [are we really calling NBC "the peacock," btw? it sounds very gossip girl. "uh-oh, peacock. could this be the end of uncontrollable sexual tension on SVU?"] is making a ton of money off their performance, they can either make a ton of money, or the network can. that's how the economy works, right? we all make different amounts? because we're actually NOT communists?

[too conservative? i guess i'm just saying that pay disparity between people with different jobs is a bigger problem than these guys, and probably not solved by their lack of contract negotiations.]

what's with the snark lately, FRB? i don't know. i will let commenters use "i feel" statements, especially in this economy. sigh.