cheap eats!

i've been giving extra points [life points, not class points] to people who can use the economy in every conversation. i'm telling you, guys, it always applies. so yesterday, as we were shopping for a dinner friend date, kevin got mad points for, "i'm really glad we're staying in and cooking, in this economy." nice. later, when we picked out the chocolate lava cakes from the frozen section, i remarked that we were moving out of the money-saving kind of dinner. he goes, "oh, now we're trying to stimulate the economy." well-played.

articles like this one [not to mention my book club's reading of animal, vegetable, miracle] always make me want to cook lots of things at home - especially bagels! they're cheap! they taste really good! i could do this, right?! [this is the beginning of a dangerous line of thinking that involves, at the very least, setting off the fire alarm in my kitchen - which i narrowly avoided, in fact, this very morning.]

and, related in cheap and good eating, jezebel asks if women bear the burden of ethical eating. [a good salon article, actually, about eating ethically for cheap.] several commenters, and i, respond that women bear the burden of many eating decisions in many families. and, more notably for me, one commenter starts a string of amazing vegetable-related puns. nice!

FRB, gardener.

my daffodils are blooming! i bought them at trader joe's for $1.69. they were not in water when i bought them, but don't worry - there was a multicolored sign explaining why. [well, not really why. just that the farmer recommended it.] i got a bunch with all the buds closed, so that it would be more exciting. then i cut off the end of the stems and put them in a guinness glass in water. then they bloomed! and that, friends, is the limit of my gardening ability.

wait, that and the fact that i am reading animal, vegetable, miracle without a translator.

also, stumbled on [um, that's a lie, because i clicked on it on purpose] this facebook group on abbreviations, and of course, immediately checked to see about "usj." they're saying "uje" - i don't know, guys.

awesome three bean polenta vegetarian mexican lasagne of awesome.

[i'm trying out some search engine optimization here.]

invented a delicious recipe tonight. and i'm not sure i can explain it with "proper measurements" and "a list of ingredients" - but here you go. i'd recommend a nine by thirteen pan, but i used a smaller and higher-sided pan [one of those ones that has a cover] and a ramekin, and then i had some left over.

1. i greased the pan with my misto olive oil sprayer [best purchase ever] and sliced up the polenta to lay it in the bottom. polenta's that thing that's made out of corn and comes in a tube like jimmy dean sausage. i tried to fill in all the gaps with tiny polenta pieces, but then i just crumbled it all up with my hand and that worked much better.

2. i sauteed up a bunch of peppers [trader joe's frozen three-pepper blend, which is a staple of my diet] and onions and garlic, like i always do, and put them on top of the polenta. should have added salt and pepper, but i forgot.

3. invented some mexican rice! it came out gooooood. there was like a cup and a half left in the bag of brown rice, and i used the extra water from a container of trader joe's fresh salsa plus some more water to make about two and a half cups total. so, a little less water than the directions called for, because i was also adding the fresh salsa. should have seasoned it here with chili powder, cumin, and such, but i forgot and added it later. anyway, cooked up the rice and added it as the next layer.

4. poured a can of enchilada sauce over the top, and added some tapatio hot sauce. [mmmm, tapatio, mi mejor amigo.]

5. drained three cans of beans - one pinto, one black, one cannellini. i always rinse them just a little bit. don't know if that's a good idea. but then i put them on top of all the other stuff.

6. and i covered the whole thing with cheese.

7. and put it in the oven at 350 for like twenty minutes, until the sides bubble and the cheese melts. it doesn't need to cook a ton, because it's all already cooked - i made it for tomorrow, though, so i'm not sure if it was warm all through because we're going to reheat in anyway.

my camera's broken. but i promise, it looked and tasted great.

twitterrific.

hi, friends. most of you know i haven't really been myself these few weeks. but i've missed you, and missed blogging. and you know what brought me back? yup, that thing that goes before and after a fall - pride.

Hi, faith.reason.etc (faithrb).

Barack Obama (BarackObama) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Check out Barack Obama's profile here:
http://twitter.com/BarackObama

Best,
Twitter

which means, clearly, that barack obama is very confused by my convoluted tweets right now.


okay, here's what it's supposed to say, from bottom to top...

• 12:00: Ask your local Starbucks guy if Via is any good. Maybe he'll be like mine and give you a FREE SAMPLE!!!
• 3:00: You know when you're at a coffee shop and a guy strikes up a conversation with you, then his smiley girlfriend comes over...
• 3:00: ...with two coffees and joins the conversation? I feel like I'm on a sitcom.
• 4:30: A coffee shop baby just ran up to another baby to chat. His message: Hi! Then, pointing: Look, my dad!
• 4:30: Both babies have frog boots.
• 8:00: Gave up meat for Lent. Living out my faith by eating a lot of sushi - although I did successfully walk by Rib-O-Rama on the way.

[the missing tweet appeared as i was writing this post. never mind that i sent it eight hours ago. for the record, i blame MY STUPID-ASS PHONE.]

classy.

b: i read in an etiquette book that a gentleman should get in the cab first and scootch over - you know, so the lady doesn't have to scootch over in a dress.
j: haha, yeah, but what if the guy leaves before the girl gets in?
b: well, then you know he's just not that into you.
everyone: [general merriment]
cab driver: you laugh, but that actually happens...

NICE. [i also like to preface things like this with, "if you're into gender roles..."]

at a recent fancypants dinner, i ordered a gin gimlet, which is delicious and very, very classy. then a guy in our group [who hadn't heard my order] said, "you know what drink is classy? the gimlet." i was like, yessss. fooled them again.

i've mentioned before that it's weird to read articles about things we do - including this one that calls us all out on our facebook habit.

you all know, though, that i ALWAYS agree with the pope. okay, not really, but i like to hear him out - especially this time. sure, facebook's not the best, but i think it's a representation of something good [our desire for human community] and not something bad [gossip, or whatever]. like any form of communication or community, it has a light and a dark side. right?

on the oscars:
i love marisa tomei's dress and amy adams' necklace.
cried a little at shirley maclain's intro of anne hathaway. what is WITH these intros? they're so sweet and heartfelt. i notice, for the first time this year, how much these people consider each other a community. i love how anne cried, and how happy she was when kate winslet won. she is a classy, classy girl. [betcha she drinks gimlets.]

"well, it's not a shampoo bottle now!" - kate winslet. omg, and getting her dad to whistle from the audience. [this is a little bit of a liveblog.]
sean penn DOES lose himself in every role. it's so true!

consumer reports.

had some nice consumer experiences tonight.

first, did everyone know that you can regular mail things from the ups store? changed my life. and i think the girl there was actually happy to be able to help me with it. i felt it.

cried a little walking along listening to this american life about these transgender kids. guys. they can't even SAY transgender because they are JUST BABIES. sigh.

trying out mike birbiglia on the blogroll, because i have now heard TWO the moth stories from him and they are BOTH excellent. that's all it takes, guys.

at the grocery store - don't you love it when stuff you were already going to buy is coincidentally on sale?

b: [awkwardly stands in the coffee aisle]
coffee grinding man: lots of choices, hmm?
b: no, i mean - coffee filters?
cgm: [points at "COFFEE FILTERS IN AISLE #6" sign above his head]
b: oh, haha, you're like, look at the sign! guess i wasn't the first one to be confused...
cgm: [shrug]

it's like he was going to be friendly, until he found out i was kind of an idiot.

then i had some hard times finding wheat germ. turns out it's in the cereal aisle. do people eat this stuff like cereal? or ON cereal? i needed it for a RECIPE, see.

okay, fine. i'm making my own granola. but all my clothes are still store-bought, guys.

genderize!

remember when i didn't want to get mad at freakonomics? right.

so they want to know whether mcdonalds asks you if you want a boy or girl toy.

How do you feel about these questions? McDonald’s has to balance giving detailed information about toy promotions that change every few weeks against the difficulties of training and wanting to keep the line moving. But the lawyer in me also notes that several states prohibit sex discrimination at public accommodations.

lots of comments. some of them upsetting. sigh. first of all, yes, you are discriminating if you define "girl toys" and "boy toys" [and it's easy not to], and the fact that there are girl and boy sections in toy stores and clothing stores doesn't prove non-discrimination. it proves that discrimination is pervasive.

sure, many girls want the doll and many boys want the hot wheels. but that's not all it is. i worked in the baby section of a department store, guys, and the only things that might pass for gender-neutral, even for INFANTS, were the winnie-the-pooh line of sleepers. so, people who shopped there were gender-izing their babies. probably not because the babies liked it. seriously, people would come in and be like, "umm. we don't know the sex of the baby yet." and i'd be like, "have you considered the winnie-the-pooh sleepers? otherwise, decide if your fetus likes flowers or trucks."

possible reasons for this: 1. people want strangers to know if their baby is a boy or a girl. 2. retailers want people to buy new clothes for their opposite-gender future babies. but still, how can you define what girls should be and what boys should be and then claim that you're not discriminating? how can you say that it's fine for you, or for your kids, and so it has to be fine for everyone?

sigh.

and, hey. speak from the i. and i will say, now, that i like to eat happy meals, and i've never been asked what kind of toy i want. as a child, i liked both barbies and ninja turtles, and mom usually asked for two different toys so brother and i wouldn't steal each other's... [that is, so i wouldn't steal his when mine broke. sigh.]

i'm also mad that people [again, commenters] think questions on the citizenship interview are funny. sigh. it's hard to get citizenship here, guys. and it's all so odd, anyway. it's easy to be born here [you know, for me] but hard to get in... it's easy to have a baby, but not so easy to adopt one...

anyway, i've worked out my issues. i'm mad at the commenters. freakonomics is apparently ready for all kinds of comments, but then, i guess that's the process...

AWESOME TAG CLOUD.

right?! thanks to this guy.

and you know what i need to take my blog into the big time? a kickass bacon recipe.

"have you blogged about casseroles yet?"

why, no! i haven't!

i sent an email to my lunch friends [we alternate days bringing lunch for everyone, and yes, it rules] explaining that i'm living out my 20-something rebellion by baking lots of casseroles, because my mom would never let us eat that stuff when we were little. i mean, she would cook chicken. and rice. and vegetables. and more vegetables. and lots of vegetables. but everything was separate, and healthy, and there was NO velveeta or cream of anything soup to be found anywhere. IMAGINE. so now i'm cooking with all those things. in ONE BIG DISH. covered with bread crumbs. take that, mom.

ahhh, rebelling against great parents. what can you do?

but i love the "you should blog about this" compliment. really? you think i'm funny enough to be published instantly online? OKAY! [speaking of which, same friend gave me this, which is kind of weird - it's like a blog, only old-school! because it's a newspaper.]

i'm watching the friends where monica goes to dance class to find the woman who stole her credit card. i don't think credit card thieves actually, you know, go out in public and socialize using the name of the person whose credit card they stole, but i guess this was before the internet and all. i do love the part where the fake monica hates dead poets' society so much that it makes her decide to, you know, SEIZE THE DAY. because she wasted so much of her life watching that movie. well-played, friends.

and, related time-wasters, from nbc local news tonight:
"i look at the governor these days, and all i can think of is britney spears... when she was unraveling... so i just don't know what to expect next..."
speaking of precision of language - ALL you can think of is britney spears? really? and you're afraid he'll unexpectedly release a comeback album?

also, the new head of chicago public schools is the former head of the CTA [since, yet again, someone close to me got hired by obama]. yes, this seems especially relevant to my life. but i still hate the local news.

sorry about all the links to my own blog. i can't stop.

"if i could FIND YOU NOW..."

got a delicious burrito today. and yesterday. yesterday, they cooked the outside of the burrito on a big grill, the rice was yellow and delicious, and the man said "claaaaaro que si" when i asked him if he had any salsa for me. [i find the spanish language, in general, charming. i think it would be different if i were actually good at speaking it.] today, there was no rice, i got chipotle flavor and fat-free black beans [whatever], and the burrito was really spicy and delicious. i was a little disturbed, though, when the guy taking my order didn't speak spanish. then i was a little disturbed about being disturbed. [i was meta-disturbed.] anyway, did i mention that it was delicious?

as i got off the bus, a neighbor with his dog may have seen me do air drums to this song. am i a fifteen-year-old boy on the inside? maybe.



but THEN, on the way home from the bus, walking got very treacherous. but only in some spots. my theory is that something under the sidewalk is making only some spots melt and then refreeze, but under the snow. [i should have been a scientist.] so, every ten steps or so, i'd unexpectedly and suddenly lose my balance and have to catch myself. but then, all of a sudden, i just BIT IT. it was one of those falls where i didn't even rememeber thinking, "oh, shit, i'm falliiiiiiiinnnnnngggg..." nope, no slow motion at all. just BAM and, "hey, why the hell am i on my back on the ground? and why's there all this snow on me?"

it was unrelated to the air drums, just so you all know. i had already moved on to being distracted by a little kid and his cars-themed one-shoulder backpack.

so i recovered by rocking out to this new find, which i love.



yes, my brother got an electric drum set for christmas and played along with his ipod for like three days straight. why do you ask? does it seem like i've spent a lot of TIME with him recently?

:)

breakstone's fat free sour cream is totally the diet dr. pepper of dairy products. seriously, those guys have CRACKED the diet technology. how do they make it so good? and do you think they'll ever make ice cream?

it's a christmas miracle!

highlight of my christmas, i think, was our family video gchat with our faraway family members. seeing my 91-year-old grandma [in her christmas sweater, of course] say, "well, isn't that wonderful!" into a webcam from a thousand miles away - yeah, that's pretty great. oh, the future.

also pretty great - deciding we were too full from appetizers [an all-day event, as those of you who know my brothers already know] to eat the turkey and sitting on the couch watching NCIS instead.

yeah, NCIS. i'm totally hooked. remember everything you loved [and hated] about JAG? now, throw in every crime show convention, multiply all that by a hundred, and add lots and lots of flirting. among every possible permutation of characters. and that, my friends, is NCIS. i hated the first five episodes i saw, but episodes six through twenty were gooooood. and there's a marathon on tomorrow...

[later note: best full episode player ever.]

"it's jimmy 'santa' clausen and golden 'frankincense and myrrh' tate..."

watching the game, playing around on my laptop [three laptops and four family members in here], waiting for brother to get home from the base so christmas can start...

--

if you've got some time, i'm kind of into this new yorker article about elevators. introduced to me, randomly in the middle of a gchat, with "this article is FASCINATING." i was like, really? but it IS.

In the old system—board elevator, press button—you have an illusion of control; elevator manufacturers have sought to trick the passengers into thinking they’re driving the conveyance. In most elevators, at least in any built or installed since the early nineties, the door-close button doesn’t work. It is there mainly to make you think it works. (It does work if, say, a fireman needs to take control. But you need a key, and a fire, to do that.) Once you know this, it can be illuminating to watch people compulsively press the door-close button. That the door eventually closes reinforces their belief in the button’s power. It’s a little like prayer.

ohhhh. this is totally up my alley. i took a social psychology class once. i KNOW.

and now, an overview of my favorite and least favorite elevators.
1. the elevator in pip's old building. too fast. made me want to puke. thanks for moving, pip.
2. the elevator in the library in college also made me want to puke. not as much when i used to take it from the first to the second floor. WHAT? that was a really, really long staircase.
3. the elevator in my dorm in college. SO FREAKING SLOW. i moved to the top floor just so i could take it without guilt. [on rereading - does that make sense? we'd all glare at the non-top-floor girls who took the elevator, because it took forever to open and close.]
4. the adventure i had in the sears tower, trying to get to an office on the 60-somethingth floor. first, you have to get on the right elevator on the first floor. then, you have to take three different elevators. they're all around corners. you have to keep getting off one elevator and getting on another one. it's really difficult. possibly to keep the rifraff out?

on the moth podcast recently, there was a really sweet story on the moth podcast that involved an incident of making out in a stopped elevator, which stopped all the other elevators in the building and showed the maker-outers on elevator cam in the lobby. so awesome. [looked it up - the story is "what goes up," by katherine russell rich, and it was on the podcast on 12/01/08. and you can still get it! go!]

--

from slate, in my browsing tonight:
- have you all seen this guy, who writes about "bogus trends"? i feel like he's actually writing about, you know, bad writing. not checking your facts, using lots of generalizations - i'd like to use it in class, actually. [none of my reporter friends would ever write something like this.]
- a little action about the name of jesus. lots of talk about greek and aramaic and the difference between i, y, and j. nicely done.
- related to a previous post, from dear prudie - "According to sociologist Kathleen Bogle, author of Hooking Up, once people who've only hooked up graduate from college, they do start dating one person at a time, but since some have never even been on a single date, they're as clumsy at it as high-school freshmen." [she's giving advice on a girl who's been hooking up with a friend - should she tell him how she feels? should they stop hooking up? wow, what a new and interesting situation! BOGUS.]

--

and now, a heartwarming christmas story.

brother and i went out to get some groceries for tomorrow. discovered that all the grocery stores are closed here in middle america. hmmm. we needed ingredients to make appetizers. [oh no! a christmas crisis!] so we went to the convenience store and, just for you all, had an awkward conversation with the [female, 20-ish] cashier.

b: [checking out with hot dogs, pita chips, cream cheese, and sam adams] yeah, we're playing a game called "what real food can we make out of things we can buy here."
c: have you ever played the game circle of death? with drinking?
b: ... YES.
c: yeah. that's fun.

i had to pause a minute to collect my thoughts. i said something about the random food i was buying, and she asked me about a drinking game? that i might play later, with my sam adams? she wanted to suggest a drinking game i could play, while eating hot dogs with pita chips and cream cheese?

maybe she didn't understand the "we're playing a game called..." turn of phrase. do i use that too much? hmmm.

also, one of the other guys working there [they had way too many people working for christmas eve, i'll tell you what] let me try the difference between "egg nog" and "holiday nog." as far as i can tell, the difference is that the holiday nog tastes sort of like banana.

cursing, acting cool. winning friends and influencing people.

written on the door of the bathroom at the bar last night, each line in different handwriting:

TRUST
issues
yes.
but it's ok.

nice, hmm? mutual support, in the ladies' room. i like it.

in contrast, written into the cement on the sidewalk on the way to my apartment from the train:

FUCK YOU
YOU FUCKING
FUCK.

i'm always like, well... if that's how you feel...

anyway, hadn't been to this particular bar since i started this post [quoted below]. and, coincidentally, just found it.

bitter, bitter debate at the bar this weekend over whether snuffleupagus is real or imaginary. turns out there's a whole story about how only big bird can see him and no one believes he exists [imaginary friend, guys!], but then big bird proves he's real after all. so i think i was RIGHT. that he's imaginary. ha.

impressed a stranger last night by ordering the dogfish head 90 minute IPA. thanks, beer club. you know how you always want to have those things that you can order, or listen to, or read, or casually drop in conversation so that people will think you're cool? YEAH, you do. don't lie.

things this makes me think of...
1. my favorite episode of friends ["the one with the embryos," which i've apparently already blogged about], the one where the girls lose the apartment in the trivia game with the boys.

ross: rachel claims that THIS is her favorite movie.
chandler: dangerous liasons.
ross: her ACTUAL favorite movie is...
joey: [points at rachel] weekend at bernie's!

2. my favorite band. and being called out for liking them. i don't even care. COUNTING CROWS RULE ALL.
3. the other day, at trader joe's, the checkout guy was all, "you listening to any good music?" because i was doing my new favorite thing where i put my headphones inside my scarf so they're conveniently close to my head, even when i'm not listening to them. and instead of being all cool and starting a conversation about something cool, i decided to tell the TRUTH. ah, the truth.

tjcg: you listening to any good music?
b: um... ahh... actually, the prairie home companion podcast... [shut up. it is FUNNY. and no, i am not 55 years old.]
tjcg: [all polite] oh, yeah? what is that?
b: it's like, garrison keillor... it's a radio show on npr... and he has, like, a funny monologue...
tjcg: isn't there a movie about it? what's the movie about, then?
b: [blanking] i think it's about... making the show, or something...

seriously, one of the MOST awkward conversations i've ever had. especially since i've SEEN the movie. and i can tell you that it's about the variety show "a prairie home companion," on npr. and the podcast is garrison keillor's "news from lake wobegon," in which he uses dry humor and makes fun of people who live in the northern midwest.

i think it was so awkward because i immediately wished i had lied. and said i was listening to... hmm. any ideas?

oh, irony. it's everywhere. right?

"that's okay. i was really just being ironic. or was i? no, i was."

anyone feel all demographicked? yup.

the mcsweeney's header is "timothy mcsweeney is a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in bacon." yesss.

and speaking of things i like: “It makes people feel good, it increases their arousal and alertness, and makes them more friendly and sociable and talkative,” says Laura Juliano, an American University psychology professor, coffee researcher, and substance-dependence expert.